Read, Shred then Burn

There's no easy way to look at it. My sister died yesterday.

It is kind of hard to focus on things, because I'm still dealing with the bit about her being gone. Me being me, I write about it.

My little sister, who had been through more crap than most people deal with in a full lifetime, only lived to be 41. She beat leukemia, dealt with one health problem after another besides having a dozen other things thrown at her.

Then she developed interstitial lung disease.

For several years, I watched her get more and more tired. I got used to watching out for her oxygen line when we went to visit. I re-learned the techniques for loading an oxygen tank caddy into vehicles.

I kept trying to pull her into my online communities, because I wanted my friends to know how funny and sharp she could be. I kept telling her it was a way to socialize without having to get out of the house, which in recent years involved hauling two or three oxygen tanks around for a trip lasting only an hour or so. When smoking was banned in most restaurants, it meant we could go out together again. The last time we managed that was for my birthday.

I wanted to spend more time with her.

It is a selfish wish, because I know she struggled to just breathe this last year. I don't know how many medications she was on, and I suspect more than a few might have been for pain. She had been so sick for so long, I was both prepared and surprised at the news.

There will be a memorial service, and Mama said something about asking for donations to the American Lung Association in lieu of flowers. My brother-in-law is going to hold a wake for her later, just like she wanted.

I am going to try to write down a few of the stories from the past four decades for the party. Some of them, Mama might need a couple of drinks to hear. But that is why we need this, not to remember how she was when she was sick, we need to remember who she really was.

Little things, like when the chemotherapy damaged her hearing, she just broadened her musical tastes to listen to Rob Zombie as well as Silly Wizard, on eleven. Maybe we can find the dissertation she did in middle school on the life cycle of the free-range polyester herds, and see if anyone can get through it on a cold reading without giggling. Bring out the photo albums, and let the kids laugh at how we looked when we were kids.

We just need to be happy she was alive, even if we miss her.

Okay, I can quit worrying so much – crisis just about over. Yes, I was carrying a box of rocks, and forgot to share. Luckily, this time I did not break my legs with carrying it.

My sister has been in the hospital with an infection'n'such (technical terms courtesy of my mother). Sister is to be discharged either today or tomorrow, which is good, because she misses her children and needs somebody to swear at (I told your she was my sister). You don't swear at the nurses, they take care of you, and you don't swear at the doctors, because they can cut off your pain med scrip.

I still do not have the capital to set it up for her to get in-world from her house (really ought to go ahead and set up her account to get the names to match somebody), especially since the next purchase for us will be a laptop so Iandad can go dancing.

Writing has been scattered. I have more than three lines going now, so that means I may eventually get back to Marta's (which is another stumbling block entirely) and somebody has another poking stick for me for automotive smut.

There have been issues with my grandmother's need for nursing home care due to Alzheimer's disease. ( And oh, by the way, it's hereditary. )

( gotta make another list... )

Edit: "Import"? He's slipping.

Happy Birthday to grommie38! She's working today - part-time on-call and she works on her birthday *sigh*.

Had a power outage last night, which interrupted the grindingly-slow progress of BTP, though there is now a kitten involved.

The power outage also kicked me out of Second Life. Still looking for jobs that do not require me to fill out surveys. Sure, they pay more than camping, but I really don't want to send out more personal information than I have to, and don't feel like setting up a specific spamming account. At least Miss Lowey found Caledon.

I find I am more and more interested in learning CSS and the related bits, but have no time for a formal class.

Now entering a third week of predicted triple-digit high temperatures. Metro Schools are letting out early today due to heat, but not RCS as far as I have heard. No, I don't know why the schools open in August and close at Memorial Day instead of starting Labor Day and going until the middle of June.

This weekend, MeeToo is another year older, so Himself, Hyperactive Lad and I will be in the 865 area code to visit with Mee Too, Princess Legal Eagle, BIL, laloshin and grommie38. So far, the only solid plans I know of are for Saturday morning (taking advantage of the Tax-Free Holiday) and Sunday noonish (MeeToo's party).

So if anyone knows something to do Saturday evening, ping me here or at yahoo (same name, different 'verse) and we may get facetime (I'm looking at you, Epona) or I may just drag the crew to BWW and see if putting the NTN nodule on the edge of campus harms my chances of knocking on the leader board.

Edit: I have also been poking at the website for Hyperactive Lad's new school (repeatedly, over the entire summer, with a large stick) and come to one conclusion: they do not want parents to know anything about the school. The website is fugly (yes, use the school colors, but not exclusively) haphazardly organized, and is rarely updated (NS, there's a couple of 2005 info pages there).

The aforementioned Tax Holiday is THIS WEEKEND, and I cannot find anything other than the core list (the one for the entire county) which is good for the basics, but the teachers are still permitted to tinker with the specifics.

Out-of-pocket weekend, first long-distance driving with the new MadMommieMobile, and it was not too bad. The average when I stopped to fill up in Oak Ridge was 28.3 mpg. No telling with what may be in the tank now. It didn't glow last night when I checked on it, so it may be okay. I miss the Sirius radio, though. I need to either burn off another personal mix CD or get myself an MP3 player with a mini-to-mini jack so I don't have to rely on the stations overlapping.

Sometime today, Himself and B-I-L may attempt to catch 300, as they were unable to see it last night, and ended up at a sushi place. Himself had a fishbowl, and was describing something that scares me. I firmly believe Tentacles Are For Fiction, Not Food.

I may have actually gotten my niece's birthday present right this year, or she is a better actress than she needs to be. I got her a glow-in-the-dark soccer ball and a portable goal.

I'm trying to wait until most everyone on this level of the house is up before making coffee, but that may not be possible. OTOH, laloshin is DEAF as a POST (emphasis hers) and would not hear the grinder unless it was beside her head.

Interesting thought about that phrase... just how hearing-impaired is the average lj post, anyway?

I think I hear grommie38 moving about, so on to caffination stage.

laloshin posted one of her poems, and it's one of my favorites.