Hehehe! Usually my style is a bit sweeter. I was indeed intentionally trying to be blunt and crude in this chapter. It took some effort to actually type some of those crude words for public consumption, I'm usually rather more coy. But it looks like I got the effect I was trying for this time. ;)

I consider Hermione to be officer material and Hogwarts this final year in my AU, more or less a military school, and the title of the chapter 'Screwed, blued, and tattooed' is taken from crude navy officer slang. Not a Pictish reference. =)